Cycle of Life

HOLY COW! I have felt the wrath of social media and it is fierce and unrelenting. The blog post below was written to be sarcastic and funny and was apparently neither. I made some comments earlier today that I don’t apologize for what I write, but in this case I have to. What was supposed to be a funny blog post has deeply hurt and offended the cycling community and that was certainly not my intent. For the record, I do not advocate running anyone off the road, or injuring anyone in anyway. It was a poor choice of words in an effort to joke about a common situation (several poor choices actually). For those of you that took the time to share with me why you were offended, thank you. You are the reason I am apologizing. I know when I have made a mistake and am willing to own it. This will clearly cost me some customers and I will have to live with that. There are many comments that have yet to be approved, but will be later today. To those of you that were offended, I am truly sorry.

As a rule, I don’t like cyclists. There… I said it. Big, sweeping generalization that probably throws some good, law-abiding people under the proverbial bus. Nonetheless, I really hate cyclists. Now, if a bike is your preferred or only method of transportation and you follow some basic rules, I’m not talking about you. If you like to cruise your Beach Cruiser on the bike path or pedal your Schwinn to work using the proper lane and hand signals, more power to you. You ride a bike. I’m talking about a completely different animal.

I’m talking about cyclists. You know the ones I mean. They are usually astride a $10,000 graphite-framed bike that is lighter than a can of beer. Their $500 spandex onesie has more advertisements than a NASCAR driver. How do you know if someone is a cyclist??? Don’t worry… they’ll tell you.

It’s probably more noticeable out here in Small Town USA. In the big city, transportation moves so slow that bicycles make sense. What doesn’t make sense is these entitled fools mucking up a perfectly fine drive on a narrow, two lane back road in the country. While it is a beautiful place to drive, and we are blessed to have our “office” out in the fresh air and sunshine, when we country folk are driving these roads it is generally for work-related purposes. We are trying to get someone or something from point A to point B. Get out of the way!

The rare single cyclist is bad enough. This is usually the newbie that decides he’s going to try out his new steed in “the middle of nowhere so I won’t bother my fellow cyclists”. Usually stopped (as there is nowhere to pull over) going uphill on a blind curve, you can actually feel this one questioning his life’s choices as you lay on the horn to move him into to the ditch and out of the way.

The real menace is the Peloton (hey, you thought I don’t do research???). These are the groups of cyclists that seem to be a combination of a mosh pit and a book club on wheels. Often in matching onesies, they are the most obnoxious and entitled group short of the Kardashians. They feel free to take up the whole lane and have no regard for anything or anyone around them. They take it as a personal affront to their space if they have to move over as they are pedaling fast enough to go 30 MPH on flat ground but are actually losing ground to the hill. And chit chatting like the cast of The View to boot!

So, as usual, I have some suggestions for these Tour de Speedbump contestants. First, anyone not in single file and/or on the right side of the solid white line is fair game. And, on that note, all of them should be required to have license plates and carry insurance (that’s Laura’s demand). That way I would be more apt to call Jonny Law and report them rather than resorting my only other option- running them off the road.

Also, let’s get some kickstands on these expensive scooters. Sure, it will double the weight and cost them precious seconds on their time trial runs. But, at least the rest of us won’t have to trip over them as we walk past the local, hipster juice bar where they are usually splayed like corpses on the sidewalk. I asked a cyclist once why they laid the bike on the ground instead of propped against the wall. The answer was simple… she knew it was going to fall so it was better to lay it on the ground gently so the paint wouldn’t get scratched. I really couldn’t make that up.

There was actually one time when I was driving a truck and 5th-wheel RV, got myself into a spot where I should not have been, and was surrounded by cyclists. I was taking the family to Santa Cruz for a little vacation. I had borrowed the RV, so I was a little nervous as it had been a while since I had towed anything that heavy. Anywhooo, I packed everyone up, punched the address for the KOA we were setting up at in the GPS and headed south on 101.

As we got into San Rafael, the GPS Lady suggested I take the Richmond Bridge. Now, I may not know exactly where to go once I got into Santa Cruz, but I know I’m going through San Francisco and south on 280. Everyone knows that. Here is where I made my first mistake. Rather than just let GPS Lady re-route me, I switched from fastest route to most direct. And across the Golden Gate we went.

As we cruised down 280, GPS Lady woke up and told me to take Sand Hill Rd. Now, here is how technology makes us really stupid sometimes. Like anyone who has been around NorCal for a while (in my case 40+ years) I know that to get to Santa Cruz you take 280 to 17 and go over the hill. Pretty hard to screw that up, right? However, GPS Lady said to take Sand Hill Road. Hey, maybe she knows a short cut! Right turn, Clyde…

It wasn’t until we were firmly on our way up a ONE lane road (path???) that I knew I was really and truly screwed. There was no backing up, as the “road” had tighter turns than a prima ballerina. Going forward was the only option, and it was clearly fraught with peril. Never mind having to stop on the blind corner of a 40% grade to check and see if the truck AND borrowed RV were going to make it between the sheer up cliff on the right and the tree that somehow was growing out of the sheer down cliff on the left. What really told me I was in trouble was the cyclists.

Whether it was the highly tuned athletes flying downhill at us like the last few lines of Space Invaders, or the ones who were passing us going UPHILL, I knew that- in this case- I was the one out of place. You know, as a dad, it’s usually when you are at your most frustrated that your kids won’t stop bickering or your wife wants to discuss feelings. This situation was so tense that the cab of the truck was silent. I’m talking about you coulda heard a mouse peeing on a cotton ball quiet. Everyone was pretty clear that this was not your run of the mill pickle dad had gotten us into.

It took us an hour and fifteen minutes to go about 3 miles. The same guy passed us, and was passed by us, four different times. His language and gestures got more colorful with each passing. Normally, I would have returned fire, but in this case it seemed wiser to just offer an apologetic nod and wave. When we finally reached the summit, and yes summit is the correct word, we made a left on the aptly named “Skyline Boulevard” and got into the left lane of a beautiful, four lane highway. At 35 miles an hour it felt like the Autobahn.

A few lessons can be taken from all of this. Know where you are. I was where I wasn’t supposed to be on that bike path. If you are a cyclist out for a tour of the country, be respectful of those who are trying to get from point A to point B. And technology is only as smart as the guy pushing the buttons. Common sense, or the lack of it, will still generally determine how your day turns out. Women have been after men to ask for directions since the invention of the wheel. Now, thanks to GPS, we don’t have to ask. GPS Lady tells where to go. And just like everything else in life, the women are usually right…

53 thoughts on “Cycle of Life

  1. Cyclists have been a topic on a local web site lately. They are supposed to obey all of the same rules that cars are subject to follow. That includes holding up traffic and keeping the speed limit. The law is that you can’t hold up 5 or more people, however, as a driver I move over for only 1. Why cause more stress in our stress fulled lives (or end up dying when they try to pass me on a blind curve). In my area, the county spent a great deal of money expanding the side of the road bike lanes, but I’m finding that since the 3 foot rule, they don’t use these areas to allow traffic to pass. What a waste. If I went on my roof with roller skates and a blower to clear my leaves I would be at least a fool and my injuries would be my fault. However, I can don spandex, ride on a light weight frame with two wheels with small brakes, and get in the way of commuters on steep roads with blind corners and be the victim. I think licenses and insurance is an awesome idea.

  2. I couldn’t agree more! We live just off of Sand Hill Rd in Menlo Park, so I know the “Portola Rd/Sand Hill Loop” well– a favorite local ride. We are used to the packs of wild spandex riders as a standard weekend fixture. I’ve cited this as one of my biggest “pet peeves” for years, especially bike riders who occupy car lanes– often at a a pace below the speed limit–when there are perfectly adequate bike lanes on the same street just to their right. Your rant elevates my peeve to a new level :)

  3. Adam, You are turning into a great and funny writer! Really fun to read and you nailed it on the biker situation. In Sausalito on weekends they are thicker than mosquitoes – and as annoying. I call them The Leotards as they prance around in their “outfits”.

    I do disagree on one point. Turn off your damn GPS and use the one between your ears – everyone!! You already knew how to get to Santa Cruz – why have anything or anyone buzzing in your ears that you don’t need. Those things are turning us into morons!

    Write on!!

  4. I thought of opening a dialogue with you about your blind generalization and apparent hatred of cyclists but where to start when it’s clear your rules on how we ride and when and why are so specific and ridiculous. Again, your advocating the act of driving cyclists off the road is scary and illegal. Have some awareness that this kind of behavior can lead to injury or death. Of the cyclist. If that’s not your ultimate goal (along with time in prison), perhaps you might rethink your approach. And when you pair this all down to your problem here, it’s abundantly clear that you simply do not have enough time in your day to spend 20 seconds getting around a cyclist. Or maybe you’re too busy paying attention to the cyclist’s clothes to realize that tight pants make you homicidal.

  5. I heard you were having problems selling your product for a profit. Reads like you just shot yourself in the foot…
    Those cyclists you hate can afford $10000 bikes and expensive locally raised meats…

  6. Adam, I am one of those cyclists you write so distainfully about. I usually ride alone but sometimes in groups and always follow the law. I often wonder at the mindset of drivers who try to run me off the road simply for being there, are they that uncharitable? Reading your post and replies I can hear that you think the road is yours and don’t like to share. Just know I’m a working father and hus band just trying to enjoy my favorite sport. I don’t need you to try and kill me, that would be murder plain and simple. I don’t expect to change your bad attitude but I will certainly avoid your companies products.

  7. Wow. I can’t believe you actually threatened to run cyclists off the road or “put them in the ditch” on a public website. That doesn’t make you some kind of hero. It makes you an entitled asshole.

    Cyclists are mothers, fathers, sons, daughters, friends, co-workers, and more. They are human beings out getting a little exercise and enjoying the environment. And some of them are your customers … or at least they used to be.

  8. Clearly some people should not have a drivers license. Joking (or maybe you’re serious) about running cyclists into the ditch is about a funny as the racist song the SAE fraternity recently was caught singing. It’s beyond bad taste. Rule number one when driving a vehicle is NEVER be in a hurry. Driving a vehicle is like going out in public with a loaded weapon; driving a vehicle recklessly is like going out in public with a cocked loaded weapon and waving it around carelessly. The roads belong to all of us and for those who can’t share let someone else drive.

  9. While I can agree that cyclists of Sonoma County, and especially those of Sebastopol, could use a lesson or two in common courtesy of the local road-ways I think you should slow your roll. The ones who dawn “$500 spandex onsies” are (were) also your customers… License plates and insurance?! Get real! You west countiers always shoot for the opposite ends of the spectrum when it fits your agenda. The roads are the way they are. I’m a farmer who has to deal with them on a daily basis but I am also a cyclist (who doesn’t own a $10,000 graphite something…) Share the road Adam.

  10. Wow, that’s a lot of hate. Glad I resisted the temptation to help your company through hard times when you used this blog to beg for money to bail you out of your bad decisions.

  11. Anyone who read this post and sincerely thought that Adam was advocating running people off the road clearly isn’t familiar with sarcasm.

  12. You just lost my business! Thanks for showing your true colors. I will be reposting this on my Facebook page so all my other “cyclist” friends can stop patronizing your business as well.

  13. Today, you may just learn firsthand about the power of the Internet. Your post is going viral among an ever-growing number of people who don’t take kindly to the threat of bodily harm (“running them off the road”). I hope you understand that making such an incendiary statement sends a bad message to other drivers reading this post. Your truck weighs enough to do more than just run a cyclist off the road. It can cause serious harm or even death to someone who’s only protected by a “onesie”. Please go read the California Vehicle Code. Here, I’ll make it easy for you, “21200. (a) Every person riding a bicycle upon a highway has all the rights and is subject to all the provisions applicable to the driver of a vehicle by this division… except those provisions which by their very nature can have no application.” Harming or killing a cyclist means you end up in jail, just as you would for harming or killing the driver of another car.

    Please be aware I won’t be patronizing your business as a result of this post and several people I know are saying the same thing. Perhaps your wallet will understand the error of the words you have posted here.

    • Your right Heidi. I wrote this in my usual snarky, sarcastic tone and had no idea it would offend so many. I do not actually advocate harming anyone. It was supposed to be funny and it clearly wasn’t to a lot of people. I sincerely apologize for offending you. Thanks for taking the time to share your feelings.

  14. Wow, it is hard to imagine that individuals who live in such a beautiful place can have such an ugly personality. You say your a Dad, imagine for a second that this was your Son or Daughter, riding their bike, no better passion and simple. Think about how you would feel if someone was to run them off the road purposefully and seriously injure, cripple or kill them. How would you feel? How would you live with yourself if you took a life, simple working through your ignorant frustration. Imagine the pain their loving family would endure. Seriously!

    • I hear you Chris. It was supposed to be funny and it wasn’t. I really am not an advocate of hurting anyone or runnnig anyone off the road. Sorry for the stress. Lesson learned!

  15. You are an amazingly stupid man. As a cyclist and now former customer I am dumbfounded how the proprietor of a business would think its ok to advocate injuring, maiming or killing a person simply because you don’t approve of their choice of physical activity. And on top of that you posted it on your company website. Too bad there is no GPS like technology to help guide you with simple concepts of business and general tolerance for anyone unlike you.

  16. I’m sure these very public comments of yours will come in handy by the DA in your trial for vehicular manslaughter when the time comes. Of course there is still time for you to decide to be a nice human. Here’s hoping.

  17. I love riding the roads around Sebastopol and spending time in your charming town. I like to support local businesses when I’m there but will certainly never waste a penny at the Victorian Farmstead Meat Company. I’ll be sure to share your blog with as many people as possible because while you’re entitled to say whatever you like, hateful speech and actions do have consequences.

    Greg McQuaid

  18. This is pretty sick. Will you take care of my wife and child after you get done murdering me?

    What is wrong with people, dont you have any humanity left?

  19. Wow, that touched a nerve! Thanks everyone for your comments. I never apologize for what I write and I won’t start here. However, what is clear is that I did a poor job of using sarcasm because many of you certainly didn’t read it that way. I guess if you read it literally, then you should be offended. Other than that, lighten up! Nobody is looking to hurt anyone. I was over dramatizing a very common situation and not actually looking to turn anyone into a speed bump. If you ride your cycle out in the country and follow the rules of the road, I can’t imagine why you would be offended. If you are one of many that ride down the middle of the road at 15 MPH instead of using the bike lane, then me thinks you protest too much. And for those of you that were offended by my depiction of cyclists in general, if we can’t laugh at ourselves we are missing out on some of the funniest moments life has to offer. For those of you that wish ill-will on me and my business, I will struggle on without you.

    Thanks again for caring enough to comment!

    • There are no bike lanes on country roads. You drive them enough to know that, I think. In such cases, cyclists have the right to use the right 1/3 of the lane.

      “Touching a nerve” comes from threatening someone’s life and limb with a more than 1-ton metal object. Your inconvenience and impatience can lead to serious injury if someone takes your “sarcasm” seriously. You are the owner of a small business. Surely you don’t want to suffer the consequences of legal action if a reader takes your “sarcasm” seriously.

      Think before you type.

    • Adam, your comment reeks of back pedaling– I don’t buy it. And do you know what else I won’t buy? That’s right, your product.

  20. Thats because its not funny to joke about cyclists being killed on the road. It happens frequently, and people like you trivialize it with posts like this. Ever day I commute and follow the fucking laws, and I still have to he harassed by people like you.

  21. Did you know that one in twelve US households does not own a car? That cycling is better for our earth than gas burning modes of transportation? That those lycra donning cyclists are your neighbors, clergy, brothers, sisters….CUSTOMERS? I’m surprised that someone concerned about providing quality food through more gentle means of production would have such disregard for the well being and safety of their neighbors and customers. I will not be purchasing your products. I hope you reconsider your generalizations of any aspect of the public and consider us as your neighbors with the right to freely exercise and enjoy public roads we all pay for, and take the high road as a businessman and potential community leader, not displaying disrespect and abhorrence of those who have helped you in your economic success.

  22. Thank you for self-identifying as an intollerant and impatient business owner. I now know where not to do business.
    Cyclists are vehicles, and by law, have a right to the road just as anyone else. Intentionally scaring people attempting to better themselves so you may get somewhere 5 to 10 seconds (Yes, SECONDS at most) shows your small-minded thinking and your inherent self-centered worldview.

  23. Adam

    You have essentially admitted to purposefully putting human beings lives in danger. Yes that is a human under that “500 dollar spandex onesie.” It is all fun and games until one of my fellow cyclists is riding along as far right as possible on the road (to be out of your way) gets passed by a motorist having a bad day who decides they want to throw a full coke can at my friend and knock him off of his bike into the ditch almost sending him to the hospital because the motorist was having a bad day. This situation happened to one of my good friends. Just like in every group there will be bad eggs. This does not warrant an attack on someone’s safety.

  24. There are idiot drivers and idiot cyclists. Please do not let your frustration spill over onto the road when you are driving. These cyclists may be arrogant fools, but they do have families and jobs to go home to.

  25. Hate speech disguised as failed satire, encouraging violence against vulnerable road users exercising thier legal right to use the road. In a just world you would be forced to apologize personally to the families of people killed on thier bikes by clueless drivers like you. Looking forward to your retraction now that this drivel is vital.

  26. I never thought you were serious about actually running cyclists off the road (the same for the SAE members) but joking about causing harm to another tends to strike a nerve in me. The fact is that we all (cyclists and cyclist haters) know someone that we care about that also happens to ride a bike at some time. I doubt you would want to see your comments directed at that person. We should all drive/ride like the other driver/rider out there that we are sharing the road with is that person we care about. BTW, when I’m biking and holding up car(s) from passing I always use a pullout when available and allow cars to pass.

  27. Whether or not you ride a bike, walk on the roadside, or drive a car or truck to go somewhere, no one has to be so cruel (sarcastic or not) to other human beings. Our words tell the story of who we really are. Your words make me want to stay away from you. Maybe your anger finds it’s way into the products you sell. Your words make me want to stay away from those. I hope you learn that communities are made up of a variety of people, none need to be the belittled or made fun of to make a point or worse just for fun. While you are entitled to your position and point of view please know that you are talking about your neighbors, your church community members, your childrens friends, teachers and coaches, your doctor, your mailman and numerous others who use the roads.

  28. The reasons we cyclists react to statements like the ones you made, whether tongue in cheek or not, is that there are many people who do exactly as you describe, intentionally running people off the road. It is a much more serious issue that someone being delayed what is typically a few seconds. Responsible cyclists obey traffic laws and do their best to avoid causing unnecessary delays. That describes the majority. Responsible drivers allow cyclists space to be safe and get out of the way when they can. Those, too, are in the majority. I race bikes (in my onesie), and have also spent years commuting to work on a bike, mixing in with the traffic; all of us getting to our jobs. I have been honked at for delaying someone less than a handful of seconds. I have also been thanked when I make sure I leave room for a car to turn right when I’m stopped at an intersection. I prefer the latter.

    Peace…

  29. It is not illegal for a cyclist to ride on the left of the white line Adam, and this does not make them “fair game” for you. It is also not illegal for a cyclist to ride side by side in a lane either. You can legally drive your car side by side with another motorcyclists in a lane, and will take up much more space on the road. It is however illegal for you to come within 3 feet of a cyclist, or run them off the road. Spend some time with local law enforcement, and they can explain it to you.
    I do not use my bike as my preferred or only form of transportation. I ride because I love doing it, and the roads in our County are amazing. Take the few moments it requires to drive safely around us, or you will have a rude awakening with law enforcement.

  30. Wow. That was a weak attempt at damage control. What’s funny is people like you point out everyone else’s faults like you follow the rules to the letter of the law. Have you driven over the speed limit? Have you ever run a red light? Have you ever rolled slowly through a stop sign without coming to a complete stop? Jane you ever made a right turn on a red light? I could go on and on. This happens millions of times a day with drivers. Where’s the outrage over that? You take a small sample from a few personal experiences and then use that to generalize the behavior of “cyclists” which makes you unreasonable and irrational. Good luck to you and your company. Just know that you will never receive another penny of my business. Your feeble attempt at humor was an EPIC fail!

  31. I am a path bike rider and follow the laws when I am on the road but that didn’t stop a Truck from running a stop sign and hitting me, throwing me on the hood of her truck seeing her face and flipping in the air.
    I had severe injuries and she did not even call for help.
    You joking or using sarcasm about something so serious and you are using your business website to do so does not comfort me.
    My brother rides those roads and he has been riding a bike for 50 years he is experienced and I assure you tries his best to stay out of your way. He also can go the speed limit on the back roads and is to be treated the same as any other vehicle, you have scooters, you have tiny smart cars and so on.
    I would not buy any thing from you and I am in fact going to spread your good cheer.
    I hope you have good insurance. I have also copied your post and I am sending it to the local authorities because you never know maybe someone will take what you say to heart and run someone off the road. You would be complicit in the act.
    Karma is a bitch

  32. HI Adam,
    I am an avid Sebastopol cyclist and a loyal customer of yours. (I don’t eat a lot of meat, but when I do, I go to Victorian, and have done so for years.) I consider myself to be a very accommodating cyclist, so according to what you wrote, your post wasn’t meant for me. I follow the rules, stay to the right, share the road, stop at stop signs (almost always), and signal turns whenever other vehicles are around.

    Because I have met you and valued your advice on meat, I had to accept that your comment about riders over the white line as “fair game” was made in jest. But it was difficult to come to that conclusion because even when I do obey the rules and share the road I have experienced aggressive and even violent drivers, who are clearly interested in using their vehicles to intimidate me, if not do me harm. Believe me, there are many drivers out there who would take your comment seriously. That is what causes cyclists to react – we have all experienced drivers like that.

    At the same time, I am sorry to say, that just as there are bad drivers, there are also bad cyclists. I hate it when I see cyclists behaving badly. It earns a bad name for all of us. (And makes bad drivers think they can or should run us off the road.)

    So I encourage you and your readers (yes, even the cyclists) to remember that it may be more effective to divide people into “good” and “bad” rather than “drivers” and “cyclists”. We could all be more courteous and patient on the roads. (Yes, even me! Some days, especially me – whether on the bike or in the car.) The things we don’t like, whether cars or bicycles, aren’t going away any time soon. Lets all share the road as respectfully as possible and work together to make our presence as tolerable for each other as we can.

  33. Hey Adam, I am a now-former customer. I hope for your sake you never do hit a cyclist. I have saved your blog post and I’ll be watching the news for your name. I will gladly ensure the family of any cyclist you harm gets a copy of this blog post, which will be very helpful to them when they sue the hell out of you for intentionally hitting the cyclist. Drive carefully.

  34. I can understand your frustration. I’m a biker and I try to pull over whenever I can. Same thing if I’m driving slow – and you know not all drivers do the same. I admit sometimes when I’m biking in a big group there’s just not enough room to let a car pass. I can understand your frustration. There are all types of bikers and all types of drivers – some are complete jerks and some are not. That’s life. I agree we need to encourage bikers to obey traffic laws and be more courteous to cars trying to get by.

    I don’t think you understand why bikers do not think your sarcasm is funny. Many of us have been purposely run off the road by a driver and seriously injured. Many of us know bikers that have been killed by a car. A driver can have just one incident of road rage and we are dead. It happens. A biker is completely powerless compared to a car. How do we know you are joking when you say you will run a biker into a ditch or that your not encouraging other drivers to do the same? Your business must be doing very well or you just don’t care to threaten bikers, even if sarcastically, on your company website. A lot of bikers have daughters, sons, brothers, sisters, parents, and good friends that don’t think your sarcasm is funny at all.

  35. Hey congratulations!!! You have done this to yourself! Terrible writing of an entitled turd. You will do more harm to your company by writing this than you can imagine. But, the good news is that hopefully when the full shit storm of your stupidity piles up, you may not have a car to run a bicyclerist off the road… Man, I wish you the worst of luck.. Hopefully this doesn’t read of sarcasm.

  36. Biking south on Stony Point just north of Olivers, back when there was parking along the road, I keep clear of the parked cars so I dont get doored. This leaves maybe 6 feet of lane to my left, which is not room for a car to pass, so I took the whole lane. White pickup truck suddenly moves over into my lane from the middle lane. I honk the air horn, thinking he misjudged some distance. He continues to come over driving me almost into the parked cars, and starts cursing at me. Was that you?

    Approaching a construction zone with k-rail on the right, narrowing from one lane to two, driver starts to pass in the shared lane, just as it narrows to about 10 feet wide. Yes, she left me three feet. Between her car and the concrete wall.

    Riding on curvy, narrow, low traffic road in the trees. Car starts to pass, but cuts back upon encountering oncoming car. Could have just waited a few seconds for a far better situation.

    Overall, I think driving cars causes some sort of mental distortion, making everything super urgent, and the smallest delay seems to last for hous. Yes, I suffer from this too when I drive.

    Perhaps I should insert my funny comment here about arming myself when riding to even the playing field with drivers that always have a deadly wheapon readily at their disposal Thing is, you can drive your car at me without goin to jail, I dont beleive a bicyclist with a gun would be given the same privalage.

    In all of those above situations, the driver of car created a dangerous situation instead of slowing for just a few seconds. You might consider adding up the total delay behind bike riders (count three minutes as a minute and a half if you are going 18 instead of 36 mph), and I doubt you have more delay than just a couple of traffic lights in town.

    Roads belong to us all. They were here long before there were automobiles, and now cars have mostly displace all other modes of transport, marginalizing walkers, bike riders, horse riders, and wagon trains.

  37. “The blog post below was written to be sarcastic and funny and was apparently neither”

    Adam, you’re just the most recent example in a long list of individuals who conceal their frustrations and, dare I say, contempt for certain groups of individuals under a guise of humor and sarcasm. You have misjudged the tenor of your sarcasm and now discover (in spite of countless examples of this phenomenon that predate yours) just how sharp the double-edged sword of social media can be.

    Your temptation to wax sarcastic about a life-and-death issue betrays your bitterness, lack of empathy, and lack of judgment, and a facile apology will not undo or ameliorate that. May this hit you in the pocketbook, where it really counts.

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53 thoughts on “Cycle of Life

  1. Cyclists have been a topic on a local web site lately. They are supposed to obey all of the same rules that cars are subject to follow. That includes holding up traffic and keeping the speed limit. The law is that you can’t hold up 5 or more people, however, as a driver I move over for only 1. Why cause more stress in our stress fulled lives (or end up dying when they try to pass me on a blind curve). In my area, the county spent a great deal of money expanding the side of the road bike lanes, but I’m finding that since the 3 foot rule, they don’t use these areas to allow traffic to pass. What a waste. If I went on my roof with roller skates and a blower to clear my leaves I would be at least a fool and my injuries would be my fault. However, I can don spandex, ride on a light weight frame with two wheels with small brakes, and get in the way of commuters on steep roads with blind corners and be the victim. I think licenses and insurance is an awesome idea.

  2. I couldn’t agree more! We live just off of Sand Hill Rd in Menlo Park, so I know the “Portola Rd/Sand Hill Loop” well– a favorite local ride. We are used to the packs of wild spandex riders as a standard weekend fixture. I’ve cited this as one of my biggest “pet peeves” for years, especially bike riders who occupy car lanes– often at a a pace below the speed limit–when there are perfectly adequate bike lanes on the same street just to their right. Your rant elevates my peeve to a new level :)

  3. Adam, You are turning into a great and funny writer! Really fun to read and you nailed it on the biker situation. In Sausalito on weekends they are thicker than mosquitoes – and as annoying. I call them The Leotards as they prance around in their “outfits”.

    I do disagree on one point. Turn off your damn GPS and use the one between your ears – everyone!! You already knew how to get to Santa Cruz – why have anything or anyone buzzing in your ears that you don’t need. Those things are turning us into morons!

    Write on!!

  4. I thought of opening a dialogue with you about your blind generalization and apparent hatred of cyclists but where to start when it’s clear your rules on how we ride and when and why are so specific and ridiculous. Again, your advocating the act of driving cyclists off the road is scary and illegal. Have some awareness that this kind of behavior can lead to injury or death. Of the cyclist. If that’s not your ultimate goal (along with time in prison), perhaps you might rethink your approach. And when you pair this all down to your problem here, it’s abundantly clear that you simply do not have enough time in your day to spend 20 seconds getting around a cyclist. Or maybe you’re too busy paying attention to the cyclist’s clothes to realize that tight pants make you homicidal.

  5. I heard you were having problems selling your product for a profit. Reads like you just shot yourself in the foot…
    Those cyclists you hate can afford $10000 bikes and expensive locally raised meats…

  6. Adam, I am one of those cyclists you write so distainfully about. I usually ride alone but sometimes in groups and always follow the law. I often wonder at the mindset of drivers who try to run me off the road simply for being there, are they that uncharitable? Reading your post and replies I can hear that you think the road is yours and don’t like to share. Just know I’m a working father and hus band just trying to enjoy my favorite sport. I don’t need you to try and kill me, that would be murder plain and simple. I don’t expect to change your bad attitude but I will certainly avoid your companies products.

  7. Wow. I can’t believe you actually threatened to run cyclists off the road or “put them in the ditch” on a public website. That doesn’t make you some kind of hero. It makes you an entitled asshole.

    Cyclists are mothers, fathers, sons, daughters, friends, co-workers, and more. They are human beings out getting a little exercise and enjoying the environment. And some of them are your customers … or at least they used to be.

  8. Clearly some people should not have a drivers license. Joking (or maybe you’re serious) about running cyclists into the ditch is about a funny as the racist song the SAE fraternity recently was caught singing. It’s beyond bad taste. Rule number one when driving a vehicle is NEVER be in a hurry. Driving a vehicle is like going out in public with a loaded weapon; driving a vehicle recklessly is like going out in public with a cocked loaded weapon and waving it around carelessly. The roads belong to all of us and for those who can’t share let someone else drive.

  9. While I can agree that cyclists of Sonoma County, and especially those of Sebastopol, could use a lesson or two in common courtesy of the local road-ways I think you should slow your roll. The ones who dawn “$500 spandex onsies” are (were) also your customers… License plates and insurance?! Get real! You west countiers always shoot for the opposite ends of the spectrum when it fits your agenda. The roads are the way they are. I’m a farmer who has to deal with them on a daily basis but I am also a cyclist (who doesn’t own a $10,000 graphite something…) Share the road Adam.

  10. Wow, that’s a lot of hate. Glad I resisted the temptation to help your company through hard times when you used this blog to beg for money to bail you out of your bad decisions.

  11. Anyone who read this post and sincerely thought that Adam was advocating running people off the road clearly isn’t familiar with sarcasm.

  12. You just lost my business! Thanks for showing your true colors. I will be reposting this on my Facebook page so all my other “cyclist” friends can stop patronizing your business as well.

  13. Today, you may just learn firsthand about the power of the Internet. Your post is going viral among an ever-growing number of people who don’t take kindly to the threat of bodily harm (“running them off the road”). I hope you understand that making such an incendiary statement sends a bad message to other drivers reading this post. Your truck weighs enough to do more than just run a cyclist off the road. It can cause serious harm or even death to someone who’s only protected by a “onesie”. Please go read the California Vehicle Code. Here, I’ll make it easy for you, “21200. (a) Every person riding a bicycle upon a highway has all the rights and is subject to all the provisions applicable to the driver of a vehicle by this division… except those provisions which by their very nature can have no application.” Harming or killing a cyclist means you end up in jail, just as you would for harming or killing the driver of another car.

    Please be aware I won’t be patronizing your business as a result of this post and several people I know are saying the same thing. Perhaps your wallet will understand the error of the words you have posted here.

    • Your right Heidi. I wrote this in my usual snarky, sarcastic tone and had no idea it would offend so many. I do not actually advocate harming anyone. It was supposed to be funny and it clearly wasn’t to a lot of people. I sincerely apologize for offending you. Thanks for taking the time to share your feelings.

  14. Wow, it is hard to imagine that individuals who live in such a beautiful place can have such an ugly personality. You say your a Dad, imagine for a second that this was your Son or Daughter, riding their bike, no better passion and simple. Think about how you would feel if someone was to run them off the road purposefully and seriously injure, cripple or kill them. How would you feel? How would you live with yourself if you took a life, simple working through your ignorant frustration. Imagine the pain their loving family would endure. Seriously!

    • I hear you Chris. It was supposed to be funny and it wasn’t. I really am not an advocate of hurting anyone or runnnig anyone off the road. Sorry for the stress. Lesson learned!

  15. You are an amazingly stupid man. As a cyclist and now former customer I am dumbfounded how the proprietor of a business would think its ok to advocate injuring, maiming or killing a person simply because you don’t approve of their choice of physical activity. And on top of that you posted it on your company website. Too bad there is no GPS like technology to help guide you with simple concepts of business and general tolerance for anyone unlike you.

  16. I’m sure these very public comments of yours will come in handy by the DA in your trial for vehicular manslaughter when the time comes. Of course there is still time for you to decide to be a nice human. Here’s hoping.

  17. I love riding the roads around Sebastopol and spending time in your charming town. I like to support local businesses when I’m there but will certainly never waste a penny at the Victorian Farmstead Meat Company. I’ll be sure to share your blog with as many people as possible because while you’re entitled to say whatever you like, hateful speech and actions do have consequences.

    Greg McQuaid

  18. This is pretty sick. Will you take care of my wife and child after you get done murdering me?

    What is wrong with people, dont you have any humanity left?

  19. Wow, that touched a nerve! Thanks everyone for your comments. I never apologize for what I write and I won’t start here. However, what is clear is that I did a poor job of using sarcasm because many of you certainly didn’t read it that way. I guess if you read it literally, then you should be offended. Other than that, lighten up! Nobody is looking to hurt anyone. I was over dramatizing a very common situation and not actually looking to turn anyone into a speed bump. If you ride your cycle out in the country and follow the rules of the road, I can’t imagine why you would be offended. If you are one of many that ride down the middle of the road at 15 MPH instead of using the bike lane, then me thinks you protest too much. And for those of you that were offended by my depiction of cyclists in general, if we can’t laugh at ourselves we are missing out on some of the funniest moments life has to offer. For those of you that wish ill-will on me and my business, I will struggle on without you.

    Thanks again for caring enough to comment!

    • There are no bike lanes on country roads. You drive them enough to know that, I think. In such cases, cyclists have the right to use the right 1/3 of the lane.

      “Touching a nerve” comes from threatening someone’s life and limb with a more than 1-ton metal object. Your inconvenience and impatience can lead to serious injury if someone takes your “sarcasm” seriously. You are the owner of a small business. Surely you don’t want to suffer the consequences of legal action if a reader takes your “sarcasm” seriously.

      Think before you type.

    • Adam, your comment reeks of back pedaling– I don’t buy it. And do you know what else I won’t buy? That’s right, your product.

  20. Thats because its not funny to joke about cyclists being killed on the road. It happens frequently, and people like you trivialize it with posts like this. Ever day I commute and follow the fucking laws, and I still have to he harassed by people like you.

  21. Did you know that one in twelve US households does not own a car? That cycling is better for our earth than gas burning modes of transportation? That those lycra donning cyclists are your neighbors, clergy, brothers, sisters….CUSTOMERS? I’m surprised that someone concerned about providing quality food through more gentle means of production would have such disregard for the well being and safety of their neighbors and customers. I will not be purchasing your products. I hope you reconsider your generalizations of any aspect of the public and consider us as your neighbors with the right to freely exercise and enjoy public roads we all pay for, and take the high road as a businessman and potential community leader, not displaying disrespect and abhorrence of those who have helped you in your economic success.

  22. Thank you for self-identifying as an intollerant and impatient business owner. I now know where not to do business.
    Cyclists are vehicles, and by law, have a right to the road just as anyone else. Intentionally scaring people attempting to better themselves so you may get somewhere 5 to 10 seconds (Yes, SECONDS at most) shows your small-minded thinking and your inherent self-centered worldview.

  23. Adam

    You have essentially admitted to purposefully putting human beings lives in danger. Yes that is a human under that “500 dollar spandex onesie.” It is all fun and games until one of my fellow cyclists is riding along as far right as possible on the road (to be out of your way) gets passed by a motorist having a bad day who decides they want to throw a full coke can at my friend and knock him off of his bike into the ditch almost sending him to the hospital because the motorist was having a bad day. This situation happened to one of my good friends. Just like in every group there will be bad eggs. This does not warrant an attack on someone’s safety.

  24. There are idiot drivers and idiot cyclists. Please do not let your frustration spill over onto the road when you are driving. These cyclists may be arrogant fools, but they do have families and jobs to go home to.

  25. Hate speech disguised as failed satire, encouraging violence against vulnerable road users exercising thier legal right to use the road. In a just world you would be forced to apologize personally to the families of people killed on thier bikes by clueless drivers like you. Looking forward to your retraction now that this drivel is vital.

  26. I never thought you were serious about actually running cyclists off the road (the same for the SAE members) but joking about causing harm to another tends to strike a nerve in me. The fact is that we all (cyclists and cyclist haters) know someone that we care about that also happens to ride a bike at some time. I doubt you would want to see your comments directed at that person. We should all drive/ride like the other driver/rider out there that we are sharing the road with is that person we care about. BTW, when I’m biking and holding up car(s) from passing I always use a pullout when available and allow cars to pass.

  27. Whether or not you ride a bike, walk on the roadside, or drive a car or truck to go somewhere, no one has to be so cruel (sarcastic or not) to other human beings. Our words tell the story of who we really are. Your words make me want to stay away from you. Maybe your anger finds it’s way into the products you sell. Your words make me want to stay away from those. I hope you learn that communities are made up of a variety of people, none need to be the belittled or made fun of to make a point or worse just for fun. While you are entitled to your position and point of view please know that you are talking about your neighbors, your church community members, your childrens friends, teachers and coaches, your doctor, your mailman and numerous others who use the roads.

  28. The reasons we cyclists react to statements like the ones you made, whether tongue in cheek or not, is that there are many people who do exactly as you describe, intentionally running people off the road. It is a much more serious issue that someone being delayed what is typically a few seconds. Responsible cyclists obey traffic laws and do their best to avoid causing unnecessary delays. That describes the majority. Responsible drivers allow cyclists space to be safe and get out of the way when they can. Those, too, are in the majority. I race bikes (in my onesie), and have also spent years commuting to work on a bike, mixing in with the traffic; all of us getting to our jobs. I have been honked at for delaying someone less than a handful of seconds. I have also been thanked when I make sure I leave room for a car to turn right when I’m stopped at an intersection. I prefer the latter.

    Peace…

  29. It is not illegal for a cyclist to ride on the left of the white line Adam, and this does not make them “fair game” for you. It is also not illegal for a cyclist to ride side by side in a lane either. You can legally drive your car side by side with another motorcyclists in a lane, and will take up much more space on the road. It is however illegal for you to come within 3 feet of a cyclist, or run them off the road. Spend some time with local law enforcement, and they can explain it to you.
    I do not use my bike as my preferred or only form of transportation. I ride because I love doing it, and the roads in our County are amazing. Take the few moments it requires to drive safely around us, or you will have a rude awakening with law enforcement.

  30. Wow. That was a weak attempt at damage control. What’s funny is people like you point out everyone else’s faults like you follow the rules to the letter of the law. Have you driven over the speed limit? Have you ever run a red light? Have you ever rolled slowly through a stop sign without coming to a complete stop? Jane you ever made a right turn on a red light? I could go on and on. This happens millions of times a day with drivers. Where’s the outrage over that? You take a small sample from a few personal experiences and then use that to generalize the behavior of “cyclists” which makes you unreasonable and irrational. Good luck to you and your company. Just know that you will never receive another penny of my business. Your feeble attempt at humor was an EPIC fail!

  31. I am a path bike rider and follow the laws when I am on the road but that didn’t stop a Truck from running a stop sign and hitting me, throwing me on the hood of her truck seeing her face and flipping in the air.
    I had severe injuries and she did not even call for help.
    You joking or using sarcasm about something so serious and you are using your business website to do so does not comfort me.
    My brother rides those roads and he has been riding a bike for 50 years he is experienced and I assure you tries his best to stay out of your way. He also can go the speed limit on the back roads and is to be treated the same as any other vehicle, you have scooters, you have tiny smart cars and so on.
    I would not buy any thing from you and I am in fact going to spread your good cheer.
    I hope you have good insurance. I have also copied your post and I am sending it to the local authorities because you never know maybe someone will take what you say to heart and run someone off the road. You would be complicit in the act.
    Karma is a bitch

  32. HI Adam,
    I am an avid Sebastopol cyclist and a loyal customer of yours. (I don’t eat a lot of meat, but when I do, I go to Victorian, and have done so for years.) I consider myself to be a very accommodating cyclist, so according to what you wrote, your post wasn’t meant for me. I follow the rules, stay to the right, share the road, stop at stop signs (almost always), and signal turns whenever other vehicles are around.

    Because I have met you and valued your advice on meat, I had to accept that your comment about riders over the white line as “fair game” was made in jest. But it was difficult to come to that conclusion because even when I do obey the rules and share the road I have experienced aggressive and even violent drivers, who are clearly interested in using their vehicles to intimidate me, if not do me harm. Believe me, there are many drivers out there who would take your comment seriously. That is what causes cyclists to react – we have all experienced drivers like that.

    At the same time, I am sorry to say, that just as there are bad drivers, there are also bad cyclists. I hate it when I see cyclists behaving badly. It earns a bad name for all of us. (And makes bad drivers think they can or should run us off the road.)

    So I encourage you and your readers (yes, even the cyclists) to remember that it may be more effective to divide people into “good” and “bad” rather than “drivers” and “cyclists”. We could all be more courteous and patient on the roads. (Yes, even me! Some days, especially me – whether on the bike or in the car.) The things we don’t like, whether cars or bicycles, aren’t going away any time soon. Lets all share the road as respectfully as possible and work together to make our presence as tolerable for each other as we can.

  33. Hey Adam, I am a now-former customer. I hope for your sake you never do hit a cyclist. I have saved your blog post and I’ll be watching the news for your name. I will gladly ensure the family of any cyclist you harm gets a copy of this blog post, which will be very helpful to them when they sue the hell out of you for intentionally hitting the cyclist. Drive carefully.

  34. I can understand your frustration. I’m a biker and I try to pull over whenever I can. Same thing if I’m driving slow – and you know not all drivers do the same. I admit sometimes when I’m biking in a big group there’s just not enough room to let a car pass. I can understand your frustration. There are all types of bikers and all types of drivers – some are complete jerks and some are not. That’s life. I agree we need to encourage bikers to obey traffic laws and be more courteous to cars trying to get by.

    I don’t think you understand why bikers do not think your sarcasm is funny. Many of us have been purposely run off the road by a driver and seriously injured. Many of us know bikers that have been killed by a car. A driver can have just one incident of road rage and we are dead. It happens. A biker is completely powerless compared to a car. How do we know you are joking when you say you will run a biker into a ditch or that your not encouraging other drivers to do the same? Your business must be doing very well or you just don’t care to threaten bikers, even if sarcastically, on your company website. A lot of bikers have daughters, sons, brothers, sisters, parents, and good friends that don’t think your sarcasm is funny at all.

  35. Hey congratulations!!! You have done this to yourself! Terrible writing of an entitled turd. You will do more harm to your company by writing this than you can imagine. But, the good news is that hopefully when the full shit storm of your stupidity piles up, you may not have a car to run a bicyclerist off the road… Man, I wish you the worst of luck.. Hopefully this doesn’t read of sarcasm.

  36. Biking south on Stony Point just north of Olivers, back when there was parking along the road, I keep clear of the parked cars so I dont get doored. This leaves maybe 6 feet of lane to my left, which is not room for a car to pass, so I took the whole lane. White pickup truck suddenly moves over into my lane from the middle lane. I honk the air horn, thinking he misjudged some distance. He continues to come over driving me almost into the parked cars, and starts cursing at me. Was that you?

    Approaching a construction zone with k-rail on the right, narrowing from one lane to two, driver starts to pass in the shared lane, just as it narrows to about 10 feet wide. Yes, she left me three feet. Between her car and the concrete wall.

    Riding on curvy, narrow, low traffic road in the trees. Car starts to pass, but cuts back upon encountering oncoming car. Could have just waited a few seconds for a far better situation.

    Overall, I think driving cars causes some sort of mental distortion, making everything super urgent, and the smallest delay seems to last for hous. Yes, I suffer from this too when I drive.

    Perhaps I should insert my funny comment here about arming myself when riding to even the playing field with drivers that always have a deadly wheapon readily at their disposal Thing is, you can drive your car at me without goin to jail, I dont beleive a bicyclist with a gun would be given the same privalage.

    In all of those above situations, the driver of car created a dangerous situation instead of slowing for just a few seconds. You might consider adding up the total delay behind bike riders (count three minutes as a minute and a half if you are going 18 instead of 36 mph), and I doubt you have more delay than just a couple of traffic lights in town.

    Roads belong to us all. They were here long before there were automobiles, and now cars have mostly displace all other modes of transport, marginalizing walkers, bike riders, horse riders, and wagon trains.

  37. “The blog post below was written to be sarcastic and funny and was apparently neither”

    Adam, you’re just the most recent example in a long list of individuals who conceal their frustrations and, dare I say, contempt for certain groups of individuals under a guise of humor and sarcasm. You have misjudged the tenor of your sarcasm and now discover (in spite of countless examples of this phenomenon that predate yours) just how sharp the double-edged sword of social media can be.

    Your temptation to wax sarcastic about a life-and-death issue betrays your bitterness, lack of empathy, and lack of judgment, and a facile apology will not undo or ameliorate that. May this hit you in the pocketbook, where it really counts.

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